For a long time, I carried so much resentment about my childhood—about how things played out, how my feelings were handled, or often, how they were not handled. I spent years feeling like I had been left to figure out life on my own, to carry burdens no kid should have to carry. But as I got older, I started seeing things from a different perspective. It wasn’t that people didn’t care or that they intentionally ignored what I was going through. It was that they simply didn’t know any better. They were operating from their own limitations, their own struggles, and doing the best they could with what they had.

I was a child caught in the crossfire of circumstances that were bigger than me. The adults around me weren’t equipped to handle everything that was happening, and they didn’t fully understand the impact it had on me. It wasn’t that they were malicious or that they didn’t love me—it was that they didn’t have the tools to do things differently. And if they had known then what they know now, I truly believe things would have been different. Maybe they would have listened more. Maybe they would have asked different questions or been more intentional about making sure I felt supported. But the reality is, they didn’t have that awareness back then.

Holding onto anger about what they didn’t know was only hurting me. And at some point, I had to make a choice: I could let that resentment define me, or I could shift my perspective and try to see the good in my life, however small it may have seemed at times.

That’s not to say my childhood was great, because it wasn’t. But it also could have been worse. And acknowledging that doesn’t erase what I went through—it just gives me space to appreciate the fact that, despite everything, I made it through. There were moments of light, even in the darkest times. There were people who tried in the ways they knew how. And no, it wasn’t always enough, but I can still choose to be grateful for the parts that were.

I’ve realized that choosing to focus on gratitude and positivity isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending like everything was okay. It’s about recognizing that the way I view my past shapes the way I approach my future. If I stay stuck in resentment, then I let my past control me. But if I find a way to re-frame my experiences—to acknowledge the struggles while also appreciating the strength they built in me—then I can move forward in a way that allows me to create a better life, not just for myself but for those around me.

I don’t want to live in anger. I don’t want to let bitterness dictate how I see the world. Instead, I want to take everything I’ve been through and use it to be a better person. To be someone who listens, who understands, who supports others in ways I didn’t always feel supported. I can’t change the past, but I can control how I let it shape me. And I choose to let it make me better, not bitter.